My Strange Love
by Mr. Who's Hufflepuff
Summary: My first fic, hope you enjoy. This is told from the Riddler's P.O.V. and is all about his love with a big, black bat. There are also some cameos from other characters. There is strong language and quite a bit of sex.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: The Dream

As I stepped out into the dark gloom of the city, I had a queer thought. "Wondering of this, wondering of that, maybe I'll see my big, black bat." Quickly I banished that thought. I wasn't supposed to think of the Caped Crusader like that. As if he were an object, and not just any object, as if he were MY object. We all have our objects of affection; Joker has Harley, Two-Face has Scarecrow, Cat has Ivy and Freeze. Everyone seems to have that special someone, except me. It always rips me apart inside when I see my winged love running around town. Especially since I know he doesn't ever think of me. Unless, that is, he's beating me around in some dark alley.

Harley says I should just forget about him and move on. Find a nice, wholesome broad to make my Princess of Puzzles. I can't even begin to count the many countless hours I've laid on that dusty futon and poured my heart out to her. I suppose that even after all this time being Joker's plaything, her innate ability to probe people as a shrink still hasn't disappeared. Which makes me wonder if she does the same thing with him. Or any of the rest of us for that matter. She's given me all sorts of treatments to try to rid me of my fantasies of that god damned Batman.

Shaking my head of all of these thoughts, I shoved my left hand farther into my pocket and walked on. With my head bowed and my cane tapping on the stones, I began to hum a wee little tune. Always the same tune. Always running through my head whenever I think of that damned man. It's the same song I heard the first time I saw him. Underneath the moonlight in the pouring rain. Watching the water fall down his delicious frame. Listening to his forced banter with that stupid boy child that ran around on his heels. Then came the most beautiful melody out of nowhere. "Bum bum ba da lee de dum." That melody haunted me more than those damned fantasies.

I heard the car before I saw it. It whizzed past me, the brakes screeching to a halt as soon as the driver noticed me. Inwardly I groaned, knowing it had to be one of the other. Part of the 'family' we villians had created for ourselves. No doubt it was Scarecrow or Freeze in a stolen car wanting me to join in on the night's escapades. I tried thinking of a good excuse to get out of it as I looked up. I was completely dumbfounded by what I saw. It wasn't the family, it was him. The big black bat. I put on my best smirk and leaned on my cane, waiting for him to finally approach me. He strutted up to me with that overly macho swagger he has. He slammed me up against the wall of a nearby building and held me there by my throat. "What are you up to now, Riddler?"

It took me a few moments to regain my composure. "Riddles, riddles everywhere." He punched me in the face, hard, "Don't give me that bullshit." I felt the butterflies running rampant in my stomach. "This is just so wacky, Batty." Another punch to the face. I sputtered, tasting blood in my mouth. "Someone's a bit grumpy tonight," I drawled. A hard punch to the gut. I started seeing spots. With the last of my strength, I pushed off of the wall and tackled him to the ground. My stomach turned as I heard his head hit the pavement. I jumped on top of his chest and gave him a swift punch to the face. "Now now Batty, you'll have to learn to play nice with others." He flipped me onto my back and returned my punch more than a few times.

We tussled for a few minutes more. I rolled him onto his back again. Panting I took yet another good, long look at him. If only our masks were off and we weren't enemies. Oh how I longed to caress his beautiful face. Before I knew what I was doing, I found myself leaning down to kiss him. When he realized what I was doing, he tried to fight. I pinned his wrists to the ground and my mouth found his. I was surprised to find he was so willing. I kissed him harder, with a hunger I had never before felt. My tongue flicked over his lips lightly. He slowly parted his lips to allow me access. Our tongues did a wicked dance that gave me chills down my spine.

I felt his arousal pushing against my thigh. I knelt to whisper in his ear, "How bad do you want me Batty?" The only response I heard was a low moan. He flipped me onto my back and tore my pants open. I was uncertain as to what he would do next. He pushed me onto my stomch and held me in place by the back of my neck. I tensed as he thrust himself into me. He became rougher with each thrust. I felt myself reaching my tipping point. Getting closer with each brilliant thrust. Just as I felt myself reaching my climax, a strange voice called my name.

"Riddy! Riddy wake up!" It was Harley. I opened my eyes and was instantly blinded by the bright lights that Harley lit her so called office with. "Wha-huh?" I muttered. "Riddy you gotta wake up!" I pushed myself up on my elbows and looked around increduously. "What in the wide world of riddles is going on, Harley?" She instantly looked down in shame. "Harley, what the fuck did you do to me?" She tugged at her pigtails and mumbled, "N...nothin', I just put ya under." "You're making more riddles than me damnit. Just tell me already!" All I did was hypnotize ya to see if I could help ya deal with your, uh...situation." "And?" "Wail...you...uh...um." "I what?" She blushed a deep crimson and looked towards my pants. I looked in the same direction and saw the erection that was trying to burst from my pants. I covered my face with my right hand. "I'm sorry Harley."


	2. Chapter 2

Harley sighed and said, "It's fine, Eddy. I just figured it was time to wake ya up before somethin' happened." "Yeah, thanks for that one." She stood up, "Oh, and Mista J called for a Family Meetin. Compose yourself and then come down." She threw her notepad carelessly onto her desk and walked out of the room. I sighed and slumped back down, letting the memories of my dream flood back over me. These dreams were going to be the end of me and there was nothing I could do about it. I stood and stretched. I flicked off the lights as I left the room, time to get this over with.

I walked into the dining room and noted that I was the last to show up. That was starting to become really typical lately. Between my dreams and a general lack of sleep, I wasn't exactly at the top of my game. I nodded quickly to everyone else and took my seat next to Victor. The Boss watched me every step of the way, when I sat he stared at me for a few more beats before beginning. "Now that _everyone_ is here. We can begin. We'll be hitting the History Museum. They're bringing in an exhibit about The Star of Africa Diamond. Victor says he can make a ray gun that'll finally rid us of our bat problem with it." Dr. Fries cleared his throat suddenly, "I said that I _should _be able to make that ray gun with the jewel." Boss man just waved his hand in the air as if he was swatting a fly. "I have complete faith in you my boy. Complete faith."

He signaled the servants and they passed out files to each of us. They were all different, except for the girls'. Dent and Crane would take care of the schematics and crowd control, Fries would take care of the guards, the girls were there to get J into any vaults, and I was the computer master. I immersed myself in the files of the building's security systems. They had just gotten the newest Wayne Security System. Lesser thieves would run away with their tails between their legs. "I need my laptop labeled 'security systems'". I waited as one of the stupid clown servants Boss insisted on having went to fetch my computer. It was delivered within a few minutes.

I hacked into Wayne Securities' main database and began to research their new models. None of the equipment could be accessed remotely, which meant Brucey had learned from the last few heists. Looking around the table at my cohorts I wondered how many of them knew that Wayne was Batty. Selina definitely knew, she'd spent some time over on the good side. I was sure that Harley was bound to pick it up during a therapy session. I doubted that she had already, if so then we'd be attacking Wayne Manor directly.

"What're you looking at, Nigma?" The thinly veiled malice of the question brought me out of my thoughts. "Huh, what," I sputtered and looked directly into Selina's seductive eyes. "I asked what you were looking at, ya freak," she purred. I quickly masked my emotions, "Oh of course I was just transfixed by your…looks, my dear kitty." Selina rolled her eyes and gave me the finger. I tried to go back to researching the security system, but I knew that my concentration was broken. It didn't help that I could feel Selina glaring at me from across the table.

Finally I pushed away from the table. "I need some air." I stalked out of the back door and began to walk the back alleyways of Gotham. I was pissed at Selina for breaking my concentration, even though I knew it was originally my fault for letting my thoughts stray in the first place. I raked my fingers through my hair and kicked a flattened can out of my path. I growled and punched the wall of a brick building. Why couldn't I get that damned bat out of my head? Why did every thought I have lead did back to that pompous, slick bastard? Why couldn't I admit to myself that I was in love with him? Because he was supposed to be my arch nemesis, that's damned well why. Or at least, that's what I had to keep telling myself. If I wanted to stay on Joker's good side, I'd have to rid myself of my own bat problem.

As I walked along, I began to calm down. I jammed my hands in my pockets and began to whistle that infuriating tune that was always playing in my head. I'd left my cane back at the house, so I kicked the random rocks, cans, and bottles I came upon in the alley. The air began to chill, fall was coming soon. I watched the sun sink slowly down behind the skyline of the city. I knew I'd have to head back to the house soon or else Boss would send someone to fetch me. And he was enough of an ass to send Selina after me.

I smirked, that wouldn't be such a bad idea. If I could just get my hands around her pretty little neck long enough I'd have one less problem on my plate. That bitch knew better than anyone how best to madden me. And sooner or later she was going to have to pay for it. I heard footsteps on the roof above me. Looks like the cat had come to fetch me after all. I slowed my pace and waited for her to pounce.

And pounce she did. In her jump off the roof, she took my hat. I hated it when she took my hat. I sneered at her and whispered, "Give it back." She smiled and placed it at a jaunty angle on her head. "I think I'll keep it," she said sweetly. I sighed and leaned back against the wall, "Selina, dear, give me my hat back." Her smile only widened as she said, "Eddy, give me a reason." I pushed off the wall and used all of my momentum to grab her. We fell into a pile of trash, "Because if you don't I'll rip your fucking throat out," I whispered in her ear. She tried to struggle, but there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell of me letting her go. "Let me go!" She screamed some more, quite unflattering, things at me while she kicked and hit me.


	3. Chapter 3

I felt my grip on her starting to slip, so I did the only sensible thing, I cold-cocked her in the face. It at least shut her the fuck up. I grabbed my hat and stood up, "Maybe now you'll remember to keep your filthy paws off of my fuckin' hat." I stomped away before she could respond.

J was gonna be pissed as hell when I got home. But at that moment I couldn't give a fuck about anything he had to say. Needing to blow off some new steam I headed toward the local whorehouse. What better way to regain my calm than fucking it out?

When I got there, I was greeted by Sam. The annoying red-head was always trying to hook up, but couldn't get the fact that she repulsed me through her fucking skull. "Will you shut the hell up and go tell Michelle that I'm here already?" The look on her face let me know that I'd been a little too harsh, even for me. Before I could dwell too long on that thought, Michelle was floating down the stairs. I swear this woman had to be envied by any angel out there. She was dressed in a little black number that instantly reminded me of my Batty.

She took my hand and led me to a room down the hall. As soon as the door was closed, I buried my face in her silky, soft blonde hair. "God you smell so good, dear."Her only response was a soft laugh and a tug at my pants. Before I could say anything, my pants were off and her mouth was on my dick. My hands tightened in her hair as she did devilish and indescribable things with her lips and tongue.

Before I came, I pulled her head away with a jerk. I threw her face first onto the bed and thrust greedily into her ass. Hearing her cry out only made me want it more. I began to thrust hungrily into her, but in my mind I was with Bruce. It wasn't her I felt tensing around my cock, it was him. It felt so good I couldn't keep myself from calling out. It was all too much and before I could pull out I was cumming in her ass.

Afterwards I felt so drained. I pressed a meaningless kiss to Michelle's forehead and whispered, "Sorry love, but riddles are calling. Put it on my tab." I strolled out of the room, down the hall, and out of the door. I hated myself for having to resort to doing that. Michelle was a nice girl, she'd come to the big city with even bigger dreams. Sometimes Gotham chews you up and spits you out though, especially if you're not strong. And Michelle was weak, even weaker than me.


	4. Chapter 4

"Everyone in there is pretty pissed at you." I sighed and nodded, "Thanks for the heads up John." Crane nodded and went back to writing in his journal. I pushed my hair back and took a deep breath. There was no getting around this, not this time.

I pushed the door open and was greeted with a large ceramic … something being thrown at my face. I ducked and the remains of whatever it had been rained down on me. "You son of a whore! If you _ever _touch me again I'll rip your throat out!" "Selly, dear, calm down." "Shut up, Pam!" Another hunk of ceramic was thrown at me, I think it might have been an ashtray. "You can't kill him. No one else is as good with computers." "I don't give a fuck! He assaulted me!" Without thinking, I said, "It wasn't all _that _bad. I kind of liked it." That only resulted in a book being thrown at me, along with a few more obscenities.

"If you're quite done Selina, the boss would like to talk to Nigma." "Dent, I won't be done with him until he's dead." "As Pammy pointed out, Kitty dear, you can't do that," I ventured. Pamela sighed and face palmed, "Wrong move buck-o." Selina jumped at me from across the room and landed a few good hits to my face before Harvey was able to pull her off. As he struggled with her he grunted at me. "Boss man wants to talk to you," he gestured with his head towards J's office as he said so.

I reluctantly walked towards the office. I was a grown man god dammit, so why did I suddenly feel like a little kid about to get punished for taking his sister's doll? I knocked lightly at the wide door. Harley greeted me with sympathy in her eyes. As I walked in, she walked out. A one-on-one, this was definitely not good.

J was sitting behind his desk, eyeing me over steepled hands. "Please, do sit," he gestured to the chairs in front of me. I chose the one with the easiest route back to the door. As soon as I was seated he said, "Selina says you assaulted her in the alley when I sent her after you." There was no point in trying to deny it, so I just nodded. "Care to explain your actions?" I sighed and said, "She attacked me first. And I was just pissed off." He nodded slowly, "From the smell of things you visited the whorehouse afterwards." Again I just nodded.

"Selina's out for blood and I was inclined to agree. Luckily for you, Harley talked me out of it. Play nice from now own, next time I won't be so forgiving. Now get out of my sight." I nodded and hurried from the room. All was quiet in the living room, which was a relief. I really didn't feel like having more heavy objects thrown at my face. I went up to my room to clear my head and maybe work for a while.


	5. Chapter 5

I needed to concentrate on the job at hand. I tried to clear my head, but it was no use. Once again my thoughts were flooded with thoughts of Bruce. In an effort to relax, I headed to the kitchen for a cup of tea. As I rounded the corner, I heard the kettle whistling, it would seem that I was not the only one in need of the calming, warm blanket that a good cup of tea held.

Silently praying that Selina wasn't the one brewing tea, I continued into the kitchen. Upon seeing that it was just Crane, I let my sigh of relief be audible. John looked up from pouring his cup and gave me his usual distracted smile. Without having to ask, he grabbed another cup and started to fill it. "So Johnnyboy, what's on the menu tonight?" "Same as usual, black tea and cinnamon." He slid the cup slowly across the island. I took it with a smirk, "You do know that there are other kinds of tea, don't you?" He grinned and shook his head, "If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, Ed, this is the best." "It's alright I suppose." "There's something on your mind, sit." He gestured me to sit across from him. Again I sighed.

I slid onto the barstool, and covered my face in my hands. "Everything is just wrong, John, everything is just wrong." He smiled and said softly, "Please, tell me." I slowly dragged my face up to stare at him in horror. "You can't possibly begin to imagine how much I've fucked everything up." He slowly pushed my cup of tea across to me, "Oh I can imagine quite a many thing Edward." I chuckled and said, "Well my brother, it goes a bit like this. I've fallen hopelessly in love with someone who not only ignores my very existence but also loathes said existence with every fiber of their being." Raising a questioning eyebrow Crane asked, "Is… is it… Selina?" I choked on my tea and sputtered, "No way in hell would it be that whore!"

Jonathon nodded slowly, "Okay, so now that we've established that it's definitely not Selina, who would it happen to be?" Shaking my head I simply stated, "No. We're not getting into that. You'd kill me. You really would." Giving me an indifferent shrug, "Fine, would you like to discuss any other part of your problem?" "No, unless you know how to make me not to be in love," I said shaking my head. "Yeah, no, that hasn't quite been invented yet," he said chuckling. I looked down into my cup and saw that I had gulped down more of my tea than I had realized. I poured myself another cup and tried to think of what I could possibly do about my problem.

He slowly reached into his pocket and pulled out a small yellow pill. "If you want, you can take this." I looked at him disbelievingly, "And what exactly would that be?" Crane gave me a knowing smirk, "Don't worry; it's not the fear gas." With doubt still heavily apparent in my eyes, I slid the pill into my own pocket. "Don't worry Ed, you'll be fine. I promise." "Actually, that doesn't make me feel any better." Crane laughed softly, took his cup, and left the kitchen. Left alone with my feelings and tea, I knew that there was nothing left to do. I put my head on the counter and sighed heavily. My eyelids started to droop and I could faintly here that damned melody. Struggling to maintain consciousness I tried to think of something else. But of course, all my thoughts went back to Bruce.


	6. Chapter 6

My head was pounding and my back was killing me. I slowly opened my eyes and looked around. I was lying in an alley and the sunlight was blinding me. Squinting I pushed myself slowly up on one elbow and tried to look around. The first thing that I noticed was that my pants were around my knees. That coupled with the fact that my ass hurt was a pretty clear indication of what had happened. I smiled slightly at the irony. I finally had my dreams come true only to find out that the man of those dreams was the love 'em and leave 'em type.

I stood up and began to recollect myself. Putting my pants back in order, I noticed that there was a piece of black fabric on the ground next to me. I picked it up and stared at it curiously. I knew without knowing that it was part of Batman's cape. I inhaled the scent of it deeply before I put in my pocket. I grabbed my cane and my hat before making my way down the alley.

As I walked I shook my head, trying to get rid of the highly trained drum core band that was playing in there. Squinting my eyes open once more, I realized that I had no idea where the hell I was. I stopped dead in my tracks. There was no way that I was in Gotham. I knew every inch of this city, and this was not part of it. Turning circles I wondered where the fuck I was. Don't get me wrong, I love Gotham, but she's a dark and dirty place. It was as if I was in Metropolis, there was sunshine and beautiful shades of green. There was so much life and happiness, but there was something amiss. I could feel it in the air, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I walked slowly forward, towards a park. That was when I realized that it was quiet, too quiet. The only sound I heard were the heels of my shoes hitting the pavement. There were no car horns or people yelling. Hell, there weren't even any birds chirping.

I kept walking, and my heels kept clicking on the pavement, but the park wasn't getting any closer. Not even in the slightest. The more I walked, the farther away it got. I'd always heard, and read, about things like this happening but I'd never experienced it before. It was complete insanity. I knew I had to be dreaming, there was no way this was real life. Shit like this didn't happen in real life. Finally I heard another noise. There were footsteps following me, they were much heavier than my own, and they were coming up quickly. The owner of them was running, in the seconds after this all registered, there were arms around my waist.

I tensed up and immediately got myself into a fighting stance. There was a soft kiss placed onto the crook of my neck followed by a deep, silky chuckle. "What's wrong Eddie?" I gasped and swooned, the footsteps, arms, and voice belonged to Bruce. Another chuckle, "Babe, you act like this never happens." My heart stuttered a bit and I blinked what felt like a thousand times. Bruce was here and loving me, as if this had happened a million times. I had no idea how to react to anything that was going on. I started to shake, as did the landscape. Blinking a few more hundred times I realized that the horizon wasn't just shaking, it was breaking apart.

I could feel myself beginning to wake up. I tried desperately to stay asleep, and cling to this beautiful moment. I needed to stay here, in this park, loving Bruce. So when my eyes snapped open and the last bits of my dream wafted away, I cursed. I dug the heels of my hands into my eyes and tried to hold back my tears of anger. I couldn't believe that my brain would create something so wonderful just to take it away as soon as I began to enjoy it. The intense pain in my bladder told me it was time to get up and start my day.


End file.
